Everything in my life is this way, that way, up, down and side to side. its a confusing mess. And honestly, i'm about ready to give up on everything. My last post turned out to be nothing at all, and i still dont know how to feel about that. I went to drill last weekend, and i did have fun, but i cant help but feel like i'm missing something, and i dont know what it is. Things in my life are turning to crap, and sometimes i wish i could hit the rewind button and restart my life.
Dont get me wrong, i have alot of good things going for me right now, but i have just as many bad things going on also. I dont know if i really want to explain it, but alot of my past is catching up to me. i feel like ive been running from something that is too inevitable. My family and friends have always been there to support me, but i dont feel like anyone has truely understood me. I want a life where i can completely forget what high school was like and the people in it. This is not something i want anyone to take personal, its just things that have happened in my past. Ive been ready for over a year to leave this place, and should have when i had the chance, but then again, if i had then i wouldnt be with Derek right now.
Thats why i'm slowly pulling away from everyone i know, because they remind me too much of the past. Yeah, i know, you cant run from your past, because it catches up to you, but i have a chance to restart my life, and im going to do so. Wether or not i have to start over and make new friends. People are suppose to look back on high school as one of the easiest things they've ever done, because it is easy. But not me, high school has been one of the worst things in my life. I'll never look back and wish i was still here, because everything in this school has messed up my high school career. I'm done caring about high school, and almost all the people in it. I'm done and ready to start a new life.
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